Building Relationships (updated 04.03.2021)
Supporting relationships through reconciliation, forgiveness, apology and meeting relational needs
The learning process
Relational choices
Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk
Emotional needs
Do you know what your emotional needs are?
Love Language
The Emotional Cup
Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
Good listening
Bad listening
Teaching and courses
Relationship course to build professional teams
Courses for schools
Four session course for students 15yr plus
Results of parenting programme
Using the material on this web site
Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?
We all want to be loved in a specific way. This questionaire will help you identify how you want to be loved. It will be very useful for couples and parents
Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?
We all have emotional needs. What are they? This questionaire will help you identify your emotional needs.
Love Language Questionaire for teenagers
This questionaire will help the teenager to identify how he/she wants to be loved
Love Language mystery game
This game will help pre-teenagers to identify how they want to be loved
Communication quiz - exploring gender differences
#good communication is vital for a good relationships. How good is yours?
Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider

Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk

What research says

Relationship research has found that five positive inputs are required to cancel out one negative input. There is a limit to how many positive inputs anyone can do so we need to concentrate on reducing the negative inputs.

There are four negative patterns of behaviours, shown in the drawing below, which are very common and very damaging to relationships.

SCORING POINTS - basically allowing a specific issue to expand into a general character assasination by using words like "always" or "never". So you accuse someone of always being late when they were late for lunch today.

THINKING THE WORSE - Reading negative things into a situation. Husband brings home bunch of flowers - wife says or thinks "What has he done wrong then?" when actually it was a genuinely thoughtful present.

OPTING OUT - refusing or avoiding talking through an issue or facing the issue. Burying an issue under the carpet or simply refusing to talk.

PUT DOWNS - Verbal or behaviour that indicates "contempt"- Example "You are useless" or raising the eyebrows, clicking with the tongue or turning your back on someone.

EXERCISE: What negative behaviour pattern are you most conscious of doing? Try to STOP doing it. Ask you friend/partner/colleague to help you by pointing out when you do it. Avoid these patterns and your relationship will be much inproved.

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