Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
Our relational needs have to be met. The question is will they be met legitimately resulting in healthy relationships where you feel good or will they be met illegitimately resulting in fractured relationships where you feel bad.
EXAMPLES - A child needs attention. If it does not receive it then it will behave in such a way that people will notice and respond - behaving very badly in a supermarket or in the classroom.The child is determined to get the need for attention met.
Adults who never had their needs met as a child grows up thinking that they can do without needs. If they dont have needs why should anyone else have them so they tend to be very emotionally cold and dead.
An adult whose needs are not met starts to think something is wrong with them because no one meets their needs and they end up acting as a martyr.
All of these thought patterns result in failing relationships and a lot of unhappiness. People have legitimate needs which are not met legitimately so they try to have them met through being selfishness or denial or self pity.
Are you aware of acting in this way. If so start getting your needs met legitimately by talking with those around you and asking them to meet your needs in a way that works for you.