Building Relationships (updated 04.03.2021)
Supporting relationships through reconciliation, forgiveness, apology and meeting relational needs
The learning process
Relational choices
Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk
Emotional needs
Do you know what your emotional needs are?
Love Language
The Emotional Cup
Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
Good listening
Bad listening
Teaching and courses
Relationship course to build professional teams
Courses for schools
Four session course for students 15yr plus
Results of parenting programme
Using the material on this web site
Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?
We all want to be loved in a specific way. This questionaire will help you identify how you want to be loved. It will be very useful for couples and parents
Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?
We all have emotional needs. What are they? This questionaire will help you identify your emotional needs.
Love Language Questionaire for teenagers
This questionaire will help the teenager to identify how he/she wants to be loved
Love Language mystery game
This game will help pre-teenagers to identify how they want to be loved
Communication quiz - exploring gender differences
#good communication is vital for a good relationships. How good is yours?
Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider

Love Language Questionaire for teenagers

The Love Language Test  (T)

Each clue box has comments that parents sometimes make to their children, or things they sometimes do for their children.  Read each clue box and pick the one you like better and wish your mum or dad would say or do  to you. Circle the letter that goes with the comment.


Be careful to circle only one comment in each clue box!


After you've gone through all 30 clue boxes go back and count how many A's,B's,C's,D's and E's that you circled. Then write your scores in the blanks at the end of the game.


When you have finished why not discuss the results with your Mum and Dad


1.     Asks me what I think                                                                           A

Puts his/her arm around my shoulder                                             E                                                ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2.     Goes to my ball games, recitals etc                                                     B

Does my laundry                                                                                  D         


3.      Buys me clothes                                                                                    C

Watches TV or movies with me                                                          B


    4.    Helps me with school projects                                                           D

           Hugs me                                                                                                E


      5.  Kisses me on the cheek                                                                        E

           Gives me money for things I need                                                     C



      6. Take time off work to do stuff with me                                             B                                  

          Rubs my shoulder or back                                                                   E                         



      7. Gives me cool things for my birthday                                                C                  

          Reassures me when I fail or mess up                                                  A


       8. Gives me a high five                                                                             E

           Respects my opinions                                                                           A            



     9. Goes out to eat or shops with me                                                         B                     

         Lets me use his/her stuff                                                                       C



     10.Tells me I’m the best son/daughter in the world.                            A                                   

          Drives me to places I need to go                                                          D


     11. Eats at least one meal with me most days                                         B              

           Listens to me and helps me work through problems                      A



     12. Doesn’t invade my privacy                                                                 D

           Holds or shakes my hand                                                                    E


     13. Leaves me encouraging notes                                                             A

           Knows what my favorite store is                                                        C



     14. Hangs out with me sometimes                                                            B                    

           Sits next to me on the sofa/couch                                                       E



     15. Tells me how proud he/she is of me                                                   A

            Cooks meals for me                                                                               D



     16.  Straightens my collar, necklace etc                                                     E

            Shows interest in stuff that I’m interested in                                    B     



     17. Allows my friends to hang out at our house                                    D

             Pays for me to go on school trips                                                      C


     18. Tells me I look good                                                                             A

            Listens to me without judging me                                                    B



     19. Touches or rubs my head                                                                    E

           Sometimes lets me pick out where we go on holiday                     D

   20. Takes to the doctor, dentist etc                                                            D                    

          Trusts me to be at home alone                                                             C



    21. Takes me on trips with him/her                                                          B                                  

          Takes me and my friends to movies, sports games etc                     D                                     


    22. Gives me stuff I really like                                                                    C              

          Notices when I do something good                                                    A



    23. Gives me extra spending money                                                          C

          Asks me if I need help                                                                            D


    24.  Doesn’t interrupt me when I’m talking                                              B              

           Likes the presents I buy for him/her                                                  C



    25.  Lets me sleep in late sometimes                                                           D                    

           Seems to really enjoy spending time with me                                    B



    26.  Pats me on the back                                                                                E

           Buys me stuff and surprises me with it                                               C                                



    27.  Tells me he/she believes in me                                                            A

           Can ride in the car with me without lecturing me                            B              



    28.  Picks up stuff that I need from various stores                                   C

           Sometimes holds or touches my face                                                   E


    29.  Gives me some space when I’m feeling upset or angry                    D                                                         

           Tells me that I am talented or special                                                   A



    30.  Hugs or kisses me at least once every day                                            E                                                                             

           Says he/she is thankful that I’m his/her child                                    A




How many A's did you circle?________________

A's stand for words of Affirmation


How many B's did you circle________________

B's stand for Quality Time


How many C's did you circle?________________

C's stand for . giving and receiving gifts.


How many D's did you circle?________________

D's stand for acts of service.


How many E's did you circle?__________________

E's stand for Physical Touch


     The letter or Love Language that receives the most points is your primary love  language .  If you score the same score for two love languages, then you are bilingual. If you score high on one love language and have a close second, that second highest score is your secondary love language!


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