Building Relationships (updated 04.03.2021)
Supporting relationships through reconciliation, forgiveness, apology and meeting relational needs
 
 
The learning process
 
 
Relational choices
 
 
Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk
 
 
Emotional needs
Do you know what your emotional needs are?
 
 
Love Language
 
 
Apology
 
 
Forgiveness
 
 
The Emotional Cup
 
 
Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
 
 
Good listening
 
 
Bad listening
 
 
Contact
 
 
Teaching and courses
 
 
Relationship course to build professional teams
 
 
Courses for schools
Four session course for students 15yr plus
 
 
Results of parenting programme
Using the material on this web site
 
 
Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?
We all want to be loved in a specific way. This questionaire will help you identify how you want to be loved. It will be very useful for couples and parents
 
 
Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?
We all have emotional needs. What are they? This questionaire will help you identify your emotional needs.
 
 
Love Language Questionaire for teenagers
This questionaire will help the teenager to identify how he/she wants to be loved
 
 
Love Language mystery game
This game will help pre-teenagers to identify how they want to be loved
 
 
Communication quiz - exploring gender differences
#good communication is vital for a good relationships. How good is yours?
 
 
Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider
 
 

Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?

 

 

EMOTIONAL NEEDS

 

What are yours?

 

EMOTIONAL NEEDS QUESTIONNAIRE

 

This questionnaire will help you to highlight your top three emotional needs at the moment.  These might change at different times in your life depending on what is happening to you.  See www.build-relationships.net for further details.

Respond to the questions by ringing the number you think is most true for you at the moment.

2 = This is always true for me

1 = This is sometimes true for me

0 = I do not know

-1 = This is not really true for me

-2 = This is never true for me

 

1 It is important that people like me for who I am, even if I seem to be a little different

2

1

0

-1

-2

2 Its important to me that I can manage my finances

2

1

0

-1

-2

3  I sometimes become tired and worn down by looking after others

2

1

0

-1

-2

4 It is really important to me that people ask my opinion even on small things

2

1

0

-1

-2

5 It is really important that I receive hugs, cuddles and strokes

2

1

0

-1

-2

6 I feel good when someone gives me time and listens so I know they understand

2

1

0

-1

-2

7 I feel pleased when people tell me that I have done well

2

1

0

-1

-2

8 I like it when people notice I need help and then offer it

2

1

0

 -1

-2

9 When I have too much to cope with I like  someone to come along side and help

2

1

0

-1

-2

10 I feel special when someone shows they know how I am feeling

2

1

0

-1

-2

11 I like to think that people value me for the kind of person that I am

2

1

0

-1

-2

12 It is important that I can express my thoughts and feelings

2

1

0

-1

-2

13 I love it when someone tells me “I love you”

2

1

0

-1

-2

14 I like to be seen as an individual – not just one of a group

2

1

0

-1

-2

15 I like it when a friend rings and listens to me and tells  me to keep going and I am doing a good job

2

1

0

-1

-2

16 I like people to praise me for who I am and not just for the things I do

2

1

0

-1

-2

17 I like it when things are predictable and ordered

2

1

0

-1

-2

18 When I work hard on their behalf, I like people to say thank you

2

1

0

-1

-2

19 When I make a big mistake and “blow it”, its important to me that people forgive me and still love me.

2

1

0

-1

-2

20 I like it when other people notice what I have done

2

1

0

-1

-2

21 I sometimes feel completely overcome with all that needs to be done

2

1

0

-1

-2

22 I want to be treated with kindness and respect whatever my race, gender, beliefs, looks or what I have done or not done in  my life

2

1

0

-1

-2

23 All my friends and family know I like a good hug

2

1

0

-1

-2

24 I like it when those close to me want to spend time with me

2

1

0

-1

-2

25 I am pleased when my boss or another person in authority tells me I have done a good job

2

1

0

-1

-2

26 Its important that someone shows they care if I am having a bad day

2

1

0

-1

-2

27 When I am in difficulty I really like other people to do something practical  to support me

2

1

0

-1

-2

28 If I was bereaved or very upset I would like it if someone wrote me a note saying that they felt upset for me

2

1

0

-1

-2

29 It’s important that I know whether people like me or not

2

1

0

-1

-2

30 I like it when people praise me in front of others

2

1

0

-1

-2

31 I really like it when someone reaches out to hold my hand or pat my shoulder

2

1

0

-1

-2

32 I don’t like people who try to control me and tell me what to do

2

1

0

-1

-2

33 I feel pleased when someone is interested in  what I am doing

2

1

0

-1

-2

34 I like a  certificate or something that reminds me of something I have done or achieved

2

1

0

-1

-2

35 I want my partner, friends and family to be there for me through “thick and thin”

2

1

0

-1

-2

36 When I meet new people it is important that they like me

2

1

0

-1

-2

37 I don’t like it when things change

2

1

0

-1

-2

38 I don’t like prejudice of any kind

2

1

0

-1

-2

39 I often worry about the future

2

1

0

-1

-2

40 I like it when people write me notes saying thank you and telling me what I did that they were pleased with

2

1

0

-1

-2

41 When someone tells me that they have been thinking of me if really means a lot to me

2

1

0

-1

-2

42 When decisions are made about myself or my family – I like to be part of making them

2

1

0

-1

-2

43 I like to be greeted with a kiss, hug or handshake depending on how well I know someone

2

1

0

-1

-2

44 I like it when people spend time with me alone and just concentrate on me

2

1

0

-1

-2

45 I like people close  to me to tell me my special qualities

2

1

0

-1

-2

46 I respond to someone who tries to understand me and shows me concern and compassion

2

 1

 0

-1

-2

47 I prefer to work on things with someone else – two heads are better than one

2

 1

 0

-1

-2

48 Its important to me to feel part of any group I am in and not an outsider

2

1

0

-1

-2

49 I don’t like to be alone when I am upset or in trouble – I need those I love around me or at least keeping in touch

2

1

0

-1

-2

50 I would rather work as part of a team than on my own

2

1

0

-1

-2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

END SCORE SHEET

 

 

ACCEPTANCE    Add up answers to questions 1, 19, 36, 38, 48

 

TOTAL

 

AFFECTION       Add up answers to questions  5,13, 23, 31, 43

 

 

 

APPRECIATION  Add up answers to questions 18, 20, 25, 34, 40

 

 

 

APPROVAL         Add up answers to questions  7, 11, 16, 29, 45

 

 

 

ATTENTION       Add up answers to questions  6, 12, 24, 30, 44

 

 

 

COMFORT        Add up answers to questions  -10, 26, 28, 46, 49

 

 

 

ENCOURAGEMENT Add up  answers to questions  3, 15, 21, 33, 41

 

 

 

RESPECT         Add up  answers to questions   4, 14, 22, 32, 42   

 

 

 

SECURITY     Add up  answers to questions   -2, 17, 35, 37, 39

 

 

 

SUPPORT     Add  up answers to questions  

8, 9, 27, 47, 50

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My top three emotional needs at the moment are:

 

 

My  partner’s/ friend/ family member/ work colleague  top three emotional needs at the moment are:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Give two examples of how each need is to be met in a practical way

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Text-only version of this page  |  Edit this page  |  Manage website  |  Website design: 2-minute-website.com