Building Relationships (updated 04.03.2021)
Supporting relationships through reconciliation, forgiveness, apology and meeting relational needs
 
 
The learning process
 
 
Relational choices
 
 
Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk
 
 
Emotional needs
Do you know what your emotional needs are?
 
 
Love Language
 
 
Apology
 
 
Forgiveness
 
 
The Emotional Cup
 
 
Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
 
 
Good listening
 
 
Bad listening
 
 
Contact
 
 
Teaching and courses
 
 
Relationship course to build professional teams
 
 
Courses for schools
Four session course for students 15yr plus
 
 
Results of parenting programme
Using the material on this web site
 
 
Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?
We all want to be loved in a specific way. This questionaire will help you identify how you want to be loved. It will be very useful for couples and parents
 
 
Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?
We all have emotional needs. What are they? This questionaire will help you identify your emotional needs.
 
 
Love Language Questionaire for teenagers
This questionaire will help the teenager to identify how he/she wants to be loved
 
 
Love Language mystery game
This game will help pre-teenagers to identify how they want to be loved
 
 
Communication quiz - exploring gender differences
#good communication is vital for a good relationships. How good is yours?
 
 
Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider
 
 

Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?

LOVE LANGUAGE

Which is yours?

 

LOVE LANGUAGE QUESTIONNAIRE

Read each sentence – if it is true for you then ring the letter on the right

 

1

 

I always like to say hello and goodbye to people I care about with a hug, kiss, handshake or slap/pat on the shoulder

b

2

I always remember good and bad things people have said to me very clearly – I can remember the exact words

a

3

I love it when someone chooses me a present that shows they have really thought about what I like or need

d

4

I need people to tell me that they love and care about me – everyday if possible

a

 

5

I like to walk down the road holding hands with my partner

b

6

It is important that people who care for me think about what I might like to happen  - without me having to tell them

e

7

I know you are not meant to say this but for me the bigger the present the more people love you

d

8

If people are not prepared to put time aside to do things with me then they might as well not be my friend

c

9

I have a special song that means a lot to me because it describes a time or quality  in my relationship with my partner

a

10

I am touched when someone makes me a cup of tea without being asked

e

11

 

 

If my partner rejected me by physically pushing me away or saying they didn’t want sex I would feel hurt, upset and unloved

b

 

 

12

 

I always remember presents that people have given me even it is many years ago

d

13

When I am listening to music the words of the songs are the most important part of it

a

14

If my partner sent me a love letter I would read it over many times and keep it

a

15

It is really important for me choose the right present for the people I love at birthdays and Christmas - not just do it at the last minute

d

16

Time spent with the people I love is the best time of all – I have always made my family and friends the priority over work or my own interests

c

17

It is important that my partner would notice and be able to look after me when I was tired or upset

e

18

I don’t mind what I do with my partner – it could be just sitting having a cuppa together - it is good enough just to be with one another

c

 

19

 

I would be upset if someone I loved forgot a birthday or an anniversary – I would think they didn’t care

 

d

20

I love being held, touched or stroked when I need comfort or reassurance

b

21

When someone looks after me by tidying up my mess, mending something or cooking a meal - I can tell they care enough to put themselves out

e

22

When people tell me that they value me, care about me or are prepared to support me it means the world to me

a

23

People have sometimes told me that I have made a difference to their lives through being thoughtful and giving them what they needed

e

24

I like planning times and activities with friends and family that we can do together

c

25

I would/do enjoy being massaged

b

26

When I was a child,  Christmas and birthdays seemed very important to me. I really looked forward to my presents.  I can even remember an object I received as a child.  It showed my parents/carers really loved me.

d

27

If my partner said they were really proud of me - whether that was for doing something or for being brave  - it would encourage me

a

28

I like to curl up next to my partner in bed - not turn away to go to sleep

b

29

My family getting together for a meal and sharing time together is not only something I would enjoy but something I really need to happen on a regular basis

c

30

If people don’t make time to see me I feel unvalued and unimportant

c

31

Sex is very important to me – not just for the sex itself but because of the physical closeness

b

32

If my partner had prepared a surprise romantic meal for me I would be delighted

 e

33

When people phone up to say they want to see or visit me I know it is because they care

c

34

I would love it if my partner sent me a little present that meant something special or left a token on my pillow

d

35

I always seem to be giving out to others – I try to anticipate what they need and want – I think this allows people to feel loved

e

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCORING

 

 

LOVE LANGUAGE

 

 

How Many?

 

Tick your top two love languages

 

Tick your partner’s top two love languages

 

 

a

 

Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

b

 

Physical Touch

 

 

 

 

 

c

 

Time Together

 

 

 

 

 

d

 

Receiving and Giving Presents

 

 

 

 

 

e

 

Thoughtful Acts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is/are your main love language(s)……………………………………………

 

Tell your partner how you want them met in a practical way (two examples)………

 

What are your partners main love languages(s)………………………………………

 

Do you know how to meet them? Will you make every effort to meet them?

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