Building Relationships (updated 04.03.2021)
Supporting relationships through reconciliation, forgiveness, apology and meeting relational needs
 
 
The learning process
 
 
Relational choices
 
 
Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk
 
 
Emotional needs
Do you know what your emotional needs are?
 
 
Love Language
 
 
Apology
 
 
Forgiveness
 
 
The Emotional Cup
 
 
Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
 
 
Good listening
 
 
Bad listening
 
 
Contact
 
 
Teaching and courses
 
 
Relationship course to build professional teams
 
 
Courses for schools
Four session course for students 15yr plus
 
 
Results of parenting programme
Using the material on this web site
 
 
Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?
We all want to be loved in a specific way. This questionaire will help you identify how you want to be loved. It will be very useful for couples and parents
 
 
Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?
We all have emotional needs. What are they? This questionaire will help you identify your emotional needs.
 
 
Love Language Questionaire for teenagers
This questionaire will help the teenager to identify how he/she wants to be loved
 
 
Love Language mystery game
This game will help pre-teenagers to identify how they want to be loved
 
 
Communication quiz - exploring gender differences
#good communication is vital for a good relationships. How good is yours?
 
 
Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider
 
 

Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider

Possible events that can make stepfamilies more

Challenging

 

 

·        At least one partner has experienced marriage and parenthood before or a partner who is a parent has never been married

·        Partners in stepfamilies who have never married or lived with a partner are unaccustomed to family life (apart from their family of origin)

·        Adults and children come into the relationship at the outset

·        The parent and stepparent often do not have the time together alone before having children live with them.

·        Stepparents have to live, or care for and/or relate to stepchildren with whom they have no “history”. There is a lack of bonding.

·        Single-parent family life often precedes stepfamily life.

·        There is at least one “intruder” in the stepfamily unit.

·        Children often lose contact with a parent from the previous family – sometimes this is a loss of daily contact, other times it is for ever.

·        Children often have two homes with two sets of rules, conditions, disciplines etc.

·        Visiting children/stepchildren have to be accommodated in the stepfamily from time-to-time.

·        Family members may experience relocation of home, school, job, activities etc.

·        New responsibilities may emerge.

·        Unfinished business from a past marriage (anger, grief, guilt, anxiety) can come into a stepfamily.

·        Suspicion and lack of trust between stepparent and stepchildren may exist.

·        Surnames of children can be different and create a sense of not belonging.

·        There are more people, all at once, having to get used to each other.

·        There is no “legal” relationship between stepparent and stepchild.

·        Socioeconomic conditions might change; money can be tight

·        Sibling order might change so the oldest, for example, now could be a middle child

·        There might be less space or territory for each person

·        At least one person has to adjust to living in a different home – with  different family rules, etc

 

 

Some "myths” about Stepfamilies

 

 

·        A stepfamily is created instantly

·        Stepfamily members can function like  biological families

·        All stepfamily members will, given time, love one another

·        Relating to stepchildren is the same as relating to biological children

·        All the children in a stepfamily will automatically get on together.

·        Part time stepfamilies where children “visit” have it easier than full time stepfamilies where children  “live in”

·        The stepfamily is headed by a wicked stepmother or cruel stepfather

·        Stepfamilies formed after the death of a partner have fewer problems that those formed after  divorce or separation.

·        If stepchildren are treated kindly by their stepparent, they will always respond well.

·        The couple can love one another so much that problems creating a stepfamily will be easily overcome

·        Stepfamilies are better off because parents have learned from their mistakes in the first marriages/couple relationship.

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