Building Relationships (updated 04.03.2021)
Supporting relationships through reconciliation, forgiveness, apology and meeting relational needs
The learning process
Relational choices
Behaviour that puts your relationship at risk
Emotional needs
Do you know what your emotional needs are?
Love Language
The Emotional Cup
Common behaviour patterns when relational needs are not met
Good listening
Bad listening
Teaching and courses
Relationship course to build professional teams
Courses for schools
Four session course for students 15yr plus
Results of parenting programme
Using the material on this web site
Questionaire - how do you want to be loved?
We all want to be loved in a specific way. This questionaire will help you identify how you want to be loved. It will be very useful for couples and parents
Questionaire - What are your emotional needs?
We all have emotional needs. What are they? This questionaire will help you identify your emotional needs.
Love Language Questionaire for teenagers
This questionaire will help the teenager to identify how he/she wants to be loved
Love Language mystery game
This game will help pre-teenagers to identify how they want to be loved
Communication quiz - exploring gender differences
#good communication is vital for a good relationships. How good is yours?
Stepfamilies - some issues and myths to consider

The Emotional Cup

We all have within our brains the capacity to absorb good and bad emotions. When our emotional capacity is full of negative emotions further negative emotions result in an overspill which is seen in the form of a variety of behaviour. Look at the diagram below.

In our lives we experience a lot of hurt which can accumulate if not dealt with at the time. The hurt is harder to deal with when it comes from those we dont expect to hurt us such as family member, partners, teachers and other people who we trust.(See section on forgiveness)

We tend to focus on dealing with the SYMPTOMS of the full emotional cup which will provide only temporary respite (eg pills for dealing with depression,sleeping pills, addiction programmes etc)when instead we need to focus on dealing with the CAUSES which will stop the cup overflowing in the first place.


If you are hurting you will need comforting
If you are angry you need to forgive
If you feel guilty you need to apologise
If you experience low self esteem or a sense of false guilt you need to hear the truth spoken to you. For example you may be accused of being useless. Fine you may have failed in one specific point, like everyone else, but that does not make you useless in general. You need to hear positive messages rather than blanket condemnation.
If you are fearful you need to receive love
If you are stressed you need to receive support

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